Psalm 121—I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let my foot slip—He who watches over me does not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over me—the Lord is my shade at my right hand; the sun will not harm me by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep me from all harm—He will watch over my life; the Lord will watch over my coming and going both now and forevermore.
Holy Spirit, I find myself today feeling depressed and anxious. I feel the weight of the loss of my son Philip and being the one to find him. Not knowing whether it was an accident or suicide will always trouble me. Having him gone will always sadden and hurt me. My only ray of hope is to see him in heaven someday. I struggle today with anxiety over my son and daughter, I still have and my grandchildren as they begin a new school year. I fear for the trials and troubles they will face and endure. I feel so
helpless. If I did not have prayer, I fear I would lose what little confidence I have. I know this is just a day, and tomorrow I will be strong again and do what is needed. But today, I feel small, weak, alone, and unworthy. I feel so unworthy to be a husband, father, or grandfather. I know in my mind this is wrong, but how do you rationalize emotions? Tomorrow I will probably feel renewed and strong again, but for today, I just trudge forward, leaning on the mercy and grace of Jesus.
Let the words I say, the attitude I present, and the thoughts I allow my mind to hold onto all be acceptable in Your sight. In Jesus’ name, amen.