Some of Us Need to be Broken to Be Usable

Heavenly Father I praise You for 40 years of fellowship with You. I praise You for all the lessons, blessings, and even the trials and tribulations that I have had to go through to grow in wisdom and faith. I praise You that my joy is not just happiness but a deep seeded root of knowing You reign and will always reign in my life. I praise You for the free will You gave to me even though Satan often tries to steal this from me in this broken sinful world.

Holy Spirit I never knew how difficult trust and faith could be until we lost Philip. I have faced death often in my life and have lost many loved ones. I and my wife have lost babies we never got to hold and see grow up. I have lost grandparents that I miss, uncles, aunts, In-laws, and friends. None of them broke me as badly as losing my Mother-in-law and my son Philip. I have not been beaten as badly as losing people to sin that I respected recently and for other opportunities taken from me. I have faced a truck accident, a flooded basement, and losing my chance to coach anymore. Still what broke me the most was when I found Philip gone.

Holy Spirit when my faith was so tested I wanted to be like Elijah and just die. But You had plans for me that I never expected. I started searching the scriptures much harder than ever before. With COVID my job was changed from being a teacher to being a fill in wherever I was needed. This meant on some days I had a lot of time on my hands waiting to be called to work somewhere as a fill in. This was when You inspired me to write and in 18 days I was able to write prayers for every book of the Bible. Then You preformed a new miracle. As I was sending all these prayers out as packets I sent them to Jacquetta who determined they should be books. Then You supplied the money to get them published. You inspired Jacquetta to get all three books edited and published in less than one year. You have been faithful to give me a way to work through my brokenness.

I have learned through scripture what it must have been like for Joseph to be sold out by his family, falsely accused, and sent to prison before God could fully use him. What David went through losing his baby and losing Absalom. What Daniel felt like being a prisoner and facing death for his faith. What Hannah suffered until she prayed from a complete place of brokenness and then gave up Samuel. What Peter must of felt when he betrayed Christ three times and then to be forgiven and asked three times if he loved Christ. All these people had to be fully broken to be able to be used by You. I now know what broken means and it will be a part of me for the rest of my days here. My two times of cancer do not even compare to this. But now I can lead people to pray, write to help my spiritual life, speak when given the opportunity to help others grow in wisdom and in their struggle to accept salvation fully. Praise be to the God, and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen. (2Corinthians 1:3-7; Galatians 1:3-5)