Heavenly Father, my faith is being tested more than any other time except when I found Philip. I praise You for still being in control even though my life feels out of control. I praise You for walking by my side, even though I feel so alone right now. I praise You that eventually life will work itself out, but right now it feels broken and destroyed.
Holy Spirit, I feel events outside my control have ripped and tore my family. I feel right now that I don’t know what or how to do what needs to be done next. I can only lay on Your altar and cry for mercy and healing. People I trust in leadership have betrayed all that I believe to be true about You, either through ignorance or stubbornness. People have been added into our lives that have caused chaos and pain. I am not sure if I can be a father and grandfather who actually leads through my faith anymore. I am not sure what is right and wrong anymore or how to navigate life in a way that does not just create and cause more pain. Help me to trust You, listen, not interfere with what You need to tell me, and to be strong enough to do what You need me to do. Help me breathe again.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1Peter 5:6-11