Learning to Breathe Again

My God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, for people who are wicked and deceitful have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. With words of hatred, they surround me; they attack me without cause. In return for my friendship, they accuse me, but I am a man prayer. (Psalms 109:1-4)

Heavenly Father, I am feeling low today. I found a hat when cleaning my truck which Philip gave me for Christmas the year before he left Michigan Tech University. This time of the year we would go north to the UP to help Philip get set up for college. He loved showing us all around the Keweenaw Peninsula. He was so full of life, and he so enjoyed serving You. I am feeling the weight of him being gone.

I am learning that different seasons of life bring different challenges, experiences, joys and sorrows. This current season has been very rough. I have survived power outages, a truck accident, a broken wrist, losing my son, losing a coworker who was younger than me, losing my mother and father-in-law, losing two uncles, and working a job that is often frustrating and degrading. Having cancer again and having surgery. A few months later having surgery to remove a large glob of blood from the previous surgery. Having a knee replaced with surgery. Having been hospitalized for being Septic and learning to eat differently to keep my AC1 down so that I do not have to go on medications. Continuing to take medication so that I do not have blood clots again.

Holy Spirit, I have never felt the weight of stress that I currently feel with Covid starting up again at work and in the world. Prisoners being way more aggressive than when I first started 19 years ago. New, experiences with my grandchildren as the oldest prepares to start school, while the youngest just learned to walk. Starting over in a new church and fellowshipping with new people as the pastor prepares to retire and the new pastor will start soon. It just seems the world is much more evil, vindictive, unreasonable and completely nuts. Politicians are taking extreme sides to all issues with no diplomacy or middle ground insight. People are extremely divided on almost everything. Makes me wonder how close we are to being like the days of Noah and Lot.

Holy Spirit help me to lay my anxiety, pain and grief at Your feet. Help me to stand strong on the faith that You have helped me to grow into since becoming a believer in 1982. Teach me to be patient, calm and confident in the eye of the storm that seems to continue to swirl around me. Help me to pray with sincerity and with a faith that can witness You doing the impossible.

But, beloved, remember the words that were previously spoken by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. They said to you, “In the last days there will be scoffers who will walk after their own ungodly desires.” These are the men who cause divisions, sensual, devoid of the Spirit. But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith. Pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in the love of God while you are waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, which leads to eternal life. On some have compassion, using discernment. And others save with fear while pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment stained by the flesh. Now to Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with rejoicing, to the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen. Jude 17-24 (MEV)brea